Jesus Take The Wheel
by ItssStephhhx33
Summary: After loosing their baby, and getting a divorce, Edward and Bella come face to face. Will they last? And what happened when they are stuck with Bella's sister's kids? ALL HUMAN*
1. Iris

**Iris**

**BELLA **

I groaned, and looked over to the alarm clock, that was mocking me, blaring at me to get the hell out of bed, and get ready for the day. Maybe just a few more hours wouldn't hurt. I don't need to walk this morning. One day isn't going to make my back break. I was just about to doze off, when my fucking phone wrang. Who the hell calls at five o'clock in the fucking morning? Oh, that's right, no one.

I groaned, stretched my hand to grab the phone from the night-stand, and looked at the screen. Edward. Fuck. Me. Up. The. Asshole.

I flipped open the cover, and put the damn phone to my ear.

"Hello."

"Bella? Is that you?"

"Yea."

"I'm sorry to bother you so early…but I need a favor from you."

Oh, he needed a favor did he? The last time he said he needed a favor, was the day he dumped me like I was an old book.

"What is it that you need now, Edward?"

"I need you to work for me. I'd like to offer you a job, Bella."

"Oh? And what in the hell makes you think I would EVER work for you? I'm not your slave, Edward."

"I know that, Bella. Please? I'll give you anything you want. Just, please, I need you to do this for me."

"Anything? You'll do _anything_?"

"Yes." He insisted.

"Alright, fine."I heard him let out a sigh over the phone.

"Alright, so when you figure out what it is you want, just let me know."

"Edward, wait. I already know what I want.""Okay…" He urged.

"I want a baby.""Isabella, what---"

"Edward, don't ask questions. You told me you would give me anything I wanted, now I just told you what I wanted. I want a baby, Edward."

"Bella, you do know that I would be a father, to that baby, don't you? Bella. You can not just ask me to give you a baby as if it is just something people do on a daily basis. Bella…I'm not ready to be a father. Please understand."

"Edward. No baby, no job."He sighed. "Get to the office,_ now._"

I hung up the phone, and quickly got dressed.

* * *

I sat in one of the waiting chairs in the office, waiting to be called into Edward's office.

There was no getting around the fact that I still loved him. I did, but not the same way I used to.

"Ms. Swan?"

'Yes…that's me."

I followed her to his office. She led me into the office.

"Mr. Cullen, Ms. Swan." She smiled before she left.

I just stood there, my hands crossed, and very, very uncomfortable.

"Edward?" I asked.

He shot his eyes up at me. "One second, Isabella." His tone was ticked off.

_Who the hell did he think he was? After everything we went through together…he thinks he can talk to me like that? I don't think so._

"Look, Edward…if this is a _bad time for you_, you should find a different secretary.

He got up out of his seat, and walked over to me. "You think you can speak to your new boss like that, Isabella? Do you?"

I got into his face.

"Don't think you will dictate my life, Edward. If you want a secretary, you'll give me what I want. And don't think for one second that you can tell me how to speak to you. After everything, I think you know that I'm not one to follow rules." I snapped.

His eyes narrowed, and he walked back to his desk. "Come here."

I walked to his desk. I was dressed in a quarter sleeve navy top, tucked into a knee cap length skirt, with a black leather belt at the waist, and three and a half inch black heels.

He handed me a set of keys.

"Meet me at the house tonight, after work. Here is your paperwork. You can fill it out in your room. Over there."

He pointed to the glass door about twenty feet away from where we were standing.

He looked up at me. "Is there a problem, Isabella.?"

I snuffed, and shook my head. I walked into my office, shut the door, and drew the blind. _Asshole._

* * *

I opened the door, hoping Edward wouldn't be there. He wasn't.

I walked over to his desk, and started rambling through the drawers. "Where the fuck is it?!" I then, Edward walked in, and looked right at me.

"What the hell do you think your doing, Isabella?"

I smirked, and stood up, and stroked my skirt, fixing myself. I swung my long curls over my shoulder, and walked seductively over to him.

"I work for you, remember?" I fixed his tie, and walked back into my office.

About ten seconds later, Edward stormed into my office. "What were you doing? Did you need something, Isabella?"

"No. I have work to do."

He walked in, and shut the door. He stood right next to my chair.

"Isabella…"

I looked up at him.

"What?!" I demanded.

"We need to get something straight."

I shot up from my chair.

"Stop talking to me like you're my master, and I'm your slave. You don't fucking own me Edward! I'm only here for one reason. And you now what that is."

"Bella…you can't replace her." He spoke slowly.

My eyes filled with tears.

I turned to him, and slapped him.

"Don't you dare talk about her. You selfish son of a bitch!"

"She was mine too Bella. You weren't the only one who lost her! You think your alone in this! Your not alone, Bella!" He shouted.

I looked at him in shock. I didn't have any words.

I shook my head, and looked out the window. "You didn't talk to me about her, Edward. You acted like she never existed. Like it was another dead goldfish. She was our daughter, Edward! Do you know what that word means!?"

"Yes, Bella! I do know what it means! You think that I don't care, that it doesn't haunt me every second of every day!?" He yelled.

"She loved you Edward. So much. She looked up to you for everything, she depended on you, and when she needed you the most, you weren't there for her! She's dead Edward!" I walked closer to him, and seethed in his face. "She's dead."

"Yea, Bella, she's dead! She died! She's gone! You think I don't know that!?"

"I think your not facing it! That you are making a wall, and isolating yourself! You abandoned me when I needed you the most!"

"Bella! God damn it! I didn't abandon you! I'm there when you don't even know it! I go to her grave every single day! And I go when I know you go! I watch you as you sit in front of the plaque, Bella! Sobbing, I do the same thing, and you don't even know it! And when you leave, I talk to her, Bella! I miss her much, Bella! Just like you miss her. Your not alone in this!"

I started sobbing uncontrollably. "You should have told me."

"I DID BELLA! GOD!" His temper was exploding.

"Edward, I'm sorry, I shouldn't have----"

I grabbed my coat, and headed for the door.

"No!" He grabbed my arm, and turned me around to face him.

"I'm not loosing you again!"

"Edward, don't. Your right. I can't replace her. I'm sorry I even asked you to do this."

_They stood in the hallway of the hospital, watching as the team of doctors and nurses worked frantically to save their daughter._

"_Tell me she's going to be okay Edward. Tell me she's going to be okay." She begged._

_Edward held her tighter. "She's going to be okay, she's strong, like her mom, remember?"_

'"_Yea." Edward burried his face into his wife's brown locks._

"_What are they doing, Edward!?" He picked his head up, and looked thru the window._

_He saw the doctor step slowly away from the small table. He watched the heartbeat monitor draw a straight line, and he watched as his daughter stopped breathing._

"_No!" Bella shouted._

_The doctor came thru the doors. Bella looked to the doctor frantically._

"_I'm sorry." He said, simply._

"_No. No. No!" Bella screamed._

_Edward held his wife tighter, as his vision became clouded with tears. He tried to hold her up, as she was slowly slipping to the floor from his grip._

_Bella screamed. _

"_Your lying! You're a liar! She isn't dead! Edward, tell him! She can't be--"_

"_Shh, Bella, love, she's gone."_

"_No." She said sobbing. She looked thru the glass window at her daughter's body, under the small white sheet. She shut her eyes tightly, and began to slip out of Edward's arms._

"_Noo." She quietly said._

"_You can say goodbye…before we…we take her downstairs."_

_Bella let go of her husband, and walked into the cold room._

"_I need you to sign these papers…to release the body." The nurse said simply._

_Edward snatched the clipboard, signed his name, and shoved the papers back at the nurse. "Be gentle with her." He said._

_He walked into the room, and watched as his wife sat in front of their dead baby's body, stoking her small patch of bronze hair, telling her that she loved her, over, and over._

"_Mommy loves you, baby." She kissed her forehead._

_Edward walked over to Bella, and sat next to her._

_He touched her hand, and pulled it away._

"_Edward…." She sobs._

"_I….I….I can't do this. I have to….get out of here." He whispers before rising to his feet._

"_I'll go with you." She says, and takes his hand, but her snatches it away. _

"_No. I….I need to be alone." He states._

"_Edward, please don't shut me out. We…we need each other right now." She pleads with him._

_He walks away, ignoring her pleas, and ignores the desperate times she calls out to him. He just keeps walking._

I soon realize that I'm in Edward's arms. I push him away from me.

"Get away from me!" I shout.

Edward looks at me with tears in his eyes.

"Bella…don't do this…please don't shut me out." He begs.

"Did you care when I plead with you to stay with me the night she died? No. You walked away. I'm sorry…I can't do this."

I walk to the door, with me coat. I can feel Edward standing a few feet away from me.

"Goodbye Edward." I say before opening the door.

* * *

**Chapter Playlist:**

**-Hush ****- Automatic Loveletter**

**-Hello - Evanescence**

**-Think Of You - A Fine Frenzy**

**-Syndicate - The Fray**

**-Iris - The Goo Goo Dolls**

**-Run - Leona Lewis**

**-Everything - Lifehouse**

**-All Fall Down - OneRepublic**

**-River Flows In You - Yiruma**

**-Breathe Me - Sia**

**-I Don't Believe You - P!nk**

**-Here Without You - 3 Doors Down**

**-Far Away - Nickelback**

**-When It Rains - Paramore**

**-Because Of You - Kelly Clarkson**

**-Sober - Kelly Clarkson**

* * *

So there's the first chapter of the new Edward and Bella story. Just to be clear, it's all human.

Please Reveiw!

* * *


	2. Broken

** Broken**

**- - -**

**EDWARD**

"Don't do this Bella." I shouted as I watched her walk down the corridor. I started running after her.

"BELLA!" I screamed after her. She kept walking as if she couldn't hear me

"You can't run away from your life, Bella!" I yelled.

She stopped dead in her tracks, and turned around to face me, her eyes red, and glassy. She started walking towards me.

"You selfish son--"

"I'm the selfish one Bella? Me? You're the one who bribed me to get you pregnant just so you would work for me! You think that's not selfish? I said this before, and damn it, Bella. I'm going to say it again. You can't replace her."

Her head wobbled slightly as she caught her breath. "I didn't want to replace her."

"Bella---"

"Edward…just don''t try to make things better! Because you can't!"

She walked away. Just like that. I just stood there. All eyes on me. "Mr. Cullen?"

I turned around, and saw Susan holding out an envelope to me.

I grabbed it, and headed back to my office. I walked over to my desk, and pulled out the picture of Bella, Scarlett, and I. I knew that this was what she was shuffling for before. It was the one thing I held onto. I felt close to them.

I opened the top draw to the desk, and pulled out my wedding band. I slipped it onto my finger, and for the first time in a while, I cried.

**BELLA**

I sat on my sofa at home, with a glass of wine, and A video tape. It was the one of Scarlett's first bath. I was debating whether or not to play it, and I finally decided to put it into the player.

The video immediately started playing. The room filled with her baby noises, and Edward's soothing words to her. I was smiling at the camera, and bathing Scarlett.

"Ooh, baby, its okayy." I said as she began to fuss.

As the video went on, I watched every little detail. Like the small dimples in her cheeks. The way her nose formed tiny lines when she got upset. I got up from the couch, and pulled it out of the player, and threw it across the room.

I started screaming, and crying. I sat on the floor, and cradled myself.

* * *

I woke up in my bed, a place I was positive that I didn't lead myself to. I had a killer headache, and my wrist hurt.

I looked at it, and saw bandage wrap around it.

I got up out of bed, and went into the kitchen, and jerked when I saw Edward, slouched at my kitchen table.

"You could have killed yourself, Bella. Why would you do such a stupid thing?"

I remembered. I slit small cuts on my wrist the previous night.

"Because I don't have anything to live for anymore, Edward. I lost the two things that made me whole, and I just don't have anything left."

He looked up at me. I could see the pain in his eyes.

"Maybe if you would have stayed, and worked through it with me, I wouldn't have done this!" I shouted.

I could see the water drops on the table.

"Bella…don't blame this on me! It wasn't my fault she died! And if I could give anything to bring her back, I would!"

I just stood still. "But you cant bring her back! She's gone forever!"

"God damn it Bella! I FUCKING KNOW THAT!"

His harsh tone scared me a little, so I walked closer to him.

He held his head, tugging at his hair, like he was a mental patient.

I sat down at the table, and called his name. "Edward." I said softly.

I took his hand in mine. I never saw him like this. He was broken. And more depressed then he has ever been.

"Bella…I shouldn't have walked away. I'm sorry." He looked up at me.

I started crying, joining him. I paused, and looked at the golden band on his finger. I traced my fingers over it. His wedding band.

"Edward…why are you wearing that?" I questioned.

He looked at me. "I'm always going to love you Bella."

I suddenly felt like I couldn't breathe. "Please…take it off."

"No." He said simply. Shaking his head.

"Edward. Take the damn ring off!"

He shook his head. "No. I'm not taking it off."

"I need you to leave Edward. I have work to do."

He looked at me, and held his eyes there before standing up.

I watched as he brought his fingers up to his ring finger. I watched as he slowly took it off of his finger. With each glide, it felt like my heart was breaking. When he got it fully off, he walked over to me, and took my open hand. He placed the ring in my palm, and slowly curled me fingers closed.

My eyes stung as he leaned his forehead into mine.

And before I knew it, he was gone.

* * *

"Alice…can you---can you come over? Please?" I could barely speak. My throat was raspy, and dry from all the screaming, and crying I had done in the past hour since Edward left.

"Of course, Bella. I'll be right over." I hung up without saying goodbye.

Once Alice came, I felt drowsy, and I was excessively tired.

"Oh my god, Bella." She gasped as she ran over to me.

"Honey, what happened?" She looked at me frantically.

"Edward." Was all I could muster to say.

"Oh, Bella." She rocked me in her arms. I felt so drained. Like all the life I had in me was taken from me.

"I miss her so much, Alice." I whispered.

"I know sweetie. We all do. What happened was something that no one should ever have to experience. But she's with god now, honey. She's in a better place." She soothed.

"She didn't deserve to die. How could she have been so perfect, but so sick, Alice? Why did this have to happen to us?"

For the first time in a while, I thought about her. I mean, I thought about her every day, but since the whole conversation with Edward, it felt like she died all over again.

I slowly placed Edward's ring into Alice's hand.

"Bella---"

"He gave it back to me. Alice, I can't do this without him. I need him." I really did need him. I needed him like I needed air to breahe. Without him, I was like a cell without a nucleus. He was what got me through.

"I know honey. I also know that he feels the exact same way about you.

**ALICE**

The last time I saw Bella like this was at Scarlett's funeral. Never before in my life have I felt so helpless. Bella was breaking. Without Edward, she didn't know what to do with herself.

My brother didn't show his emotions.

"Bella. I think that you need to tell Edward all of this." I tried to think that maybe there was still hope for them, but after the devestation of loosing their child, it seemed next to impossible.

"You didn't know what it was like, Alice." She said, but it made no sense.

"What do you mean Bella?"

Bella started telling me what happened in the office.

**EMMETT**

"Edward…what the hell happened to you?" He looked like road kill.

Edward didn't say anything. He walked past me like I wasn't even there.

"Edward, man…I haven't seen you like this since…since Scarlett, man."

Edward looked at me, and he clung to me. I patted his back, trying to understand what the hell was going on.

"Bella." Edward said.

* * *

**BELLA**

A week passed since that day at the office. The past week was filled with nothing but sitting on the couch, drinking wine, and talking to Alice.

I haven't spoken to Edward. The other night I had a dream, that made me feel sick to my stomach.

_I got a call from the army. The call that informed me that Edward was dying._

_I was in the hospital, next to Edward's bedside. He was barely hanging on. He was gasping for breath. He was crying, and holding onto my hand. He didn't want to die. He wanted to live. To have a life with me. To have children, to get married. But that was impossible now. He was dying. Slowly, and painfully._

_I was crying uncontrollably, I couldn't stop. _

"_Edward. Please…please don't leave me! Don't le--eave me!! I love you. You cant leave me. I cant live all by myself. I need you. Please Edward. Fight."_

_He was choking for air, gasping at whatever he could find. His voice was raspy, his eyes scared, and fluttering._

"_Bella. Love, promise me. Th--at you--will never, forget us."_

"_Edward…fight for me. PLEASE! Edward…please don't leave me alone! PLEASE EDWARD! YOU CAN'T!"_

"_I love you Bella. A-alw--ay-sssssss."_

_His voice was dragging on. There was a loud pinging in my ear. I looked up to the hear monitor._

"_EDWARD! NO! PLEASE! AHHA! NOO!!"_

_Nurses flooded in, rushing to Edward's side._

_I was sitting outside the doors, in the hall. Crouched down the wall, my head in my hands, my knees up to my chest. They kicked me out._

_The door creaked open._

"_Ms. Swan?" She took off her scrub cap, and sighed heavily. My breath caught in my throat._

"_Yes, that's me." I stood up to face her._

"_Mr. Cullen…He…I'm sorry."_

When I woke up from that dream, I felt smothered. I felt nauseus.

There was a quiet knock at the door. I sat up, and walked over to the door.

I didn't expect who I saw.

* * *

**This is supposed to be very depressing right now, but the entire story WILL NOT be like this. In about 2 chapters, things will start to pull out of the depressing state.**

**50 REVEIWS=CHAPTER 3**

**REVEIW! REVEIW! REVEIW!**


	3. Come Home

** Come Home**

**- - -**

I opened the door, and saw Emmett standing there.

"Emmett…what are you doing here?" I asked.

"Bella, it's Edward." He said, looking drained.

I shook my head. "What about Edward?"

"Bella, he was in an accident last night. He's in the hospital. They don't know…they don't know if he's going to make it." He said quietly.

A thousand thoughts ran through my mind at that exact moment. That huge fight we had. What if that was the last thing he ever remembered of me, and me of him? What if that was our last memory together?

I stared at him, completely dazed. "W--What?"

* * *

We were at the hospital, in the waiting room, waiting to be allowed in to see Edward.

"Bella, he was on his way to see you." Emmett said, heartbroken.

I turned to him, and almost fell to my knees then and there.

"No." I breathed.

"Bella…I'm sorry…." He trailed off.

"Oh my god. Emmett! This is all my fault! Oh my god!" I said sobbing into Emmett's chest.

"No, Bella, it isn't your fault. You couldn't have known that this would've happened. He'll pull through, for you."

"What happened?" I asked as the doctor rounded the corner. I stood up, and nervously waited for him to let me go and see Edward.

"Can I see him?"

"Ms. Swan, Mr. Cullen is in a very bad state right now, I want to warn you that what you see, it isn't what you are used to. Are you sure you'll be able to handle it?"

My stomach turned, and a thousand mental images ran through my mind.

I softly nodded my head. "I'm sure."

Once I got to Edward's room, I braced myself for what I was about to see.

I gasped when I took sight of him. He had numerous cuts along his face, his eyes were swollen, his arms were cut up, and red. His lips were swelled up, and beat red. His face was the palest of pale. His legs looked larger than usual. I just wanted to die.

"Edward." I whispered as I slowly walked to his bedside.

I sat down next to him, and took his hand in mine.

"I'm so sorry Edward. I'm the reason you're here right now. Because I'm so messed up, you have to pay for my mistakes. Edward, I can't loose you too, please."

I lowered my head to his hand, and seared with sobs. "You have to pull through this Edward. Your life is not over. I need you Edward. Please. I 'm so sorry."

"I'm sorry I was so selfish. Only thinking of myself. As usual. But, what I haven't told you in so long is that I love you. No matter what happened. No matter how many horrible things god has put us through, I love you, and I always will." I cried into his arm, and held onto it for dear life.

I couldn't live without him, that was a fact. If anything happened to him, I don't know what happen to me. I would probably go crazy, and end up in a mental facility.

I got up slowly, and grabbed my purse, and walked towards the door. I stopped dead in my tracks when I knew I just heard something.

'I love you too Bella.' I heard a faint whisper coming from the back of the room. I quickly whispered around to see his beautiful green eyes staring into my brown eyes.

"Edward." I whispered.

"I'm s--sorry B--Bella." He stuttered.

I walked over to him. "No, don't apologize, it isn't your fault. The important thing is that your okay, and your awake. It's okay." I sat down in the chair next to the bed, and took his hand.

"I've always loved you Bella." He said. His voice was raspy, and I could tell he was fighting to speak to me the best he could.

I reached into my pocket, and pulled out his wedding band. I placed it in his hand.

He smiled, and with shaking hands, slipped it on his hand, like it was something that took no thought.

I ran my fingers along his face, and lowered my head to his. I gently touched his lips to mine, and gently pulled away when I heard the door open. I looked at the doctor surprised when he walked in.

When he looked at Edward, he smiled. "Well Mr. Cullen, you sure beat all odds. Miss Swan, I need you to step out of the room please?" I nodded, and left the room.

I was quickly met with a petit nurse in the hall who was holding a bunch of things. "Bella Swan?" She asked.

"Yes, that's me." I said while wiping a loose tear away.

"These are some of Mr. Cullen's belongings. I imagine you to be the one I should return them to."

I smiled, and took Edward's things from her.

"Thank you."

She smiled and scurried down the hall. I went and sat down next to Emmett in the waiting room, telling him the good news.

After that, I started looking through Edward's things. My breath caught in my throat when my eyes casted upon a small red box. I slowly reached for it, and held it in my hands.

I looked over to Emmett who looked just as shocked as I was. I slowly lifted open the box, and nearly fainted at what I saw. My engagement ring. Esme's ring. The same ring Edward gave to me the night of our two year anniversary when he asked me to marry him.

I looked up to Emmett, who looked down at me like I held a bomb in my hands.

"D--Did you know about this E-Emmett?" I asked.

"No." He replied flatly.

I looked up to the doctor. "Mr. Cullen is asking to see you." He smiled.

I put down all of Edward's things except the box, and walked to Edward's door. When I walked in, he looked a whole lot less pale, his lips were back to a delicate pink color, his legs were less swollen, and his eyes less puffy.

He smiled at me, and gestured for me to go over to him.

I walked cautiously over to him, keeping the small velvet box behind my back, hoping that he wouldn't see it.

Was I really going to do this? After everything we've been through, was I really going to go through with that same heartache again? Was I going to let the one man that couldn't mend me back into my life? Could I even begin to think that could happen? Could it happen?

I got closer to Edward, as my heart rate sped up. I had to calm down. If I kept this up, I would be too, lying in a hospital bed, alongside Edward.

I gripped the bedside table, as I looked into Edward's eyes. "Hi." I whispered.

"I know what's behind your back, Bella." He said, raspy.

I sighed, and placed the small box down on the table. "Edward…you don't really want to be with me." I whispered.

His head snapped in my direction. His eyes were cold, and deserted. "You don't know what I want. You don't know anything." He said angrily.

His eyes were a cold black, as I slowly backed up.

He starred at me with a death glare that I have never seen before. I shook my head, and fought back.

"You are _not _going to push me away again! I've been through too damn much to loose you again! I've fought, and I've fought for happiness, and I can only be happy with you! Only you, Edward!" I shouted.

His eyes narrowed at me. "You say that now, Bella! What about thirty, forty years from now! When we may be married, and have kids! While I'm away on business trips, will you still want this then!? Dear god Bella! I just want you to be happy, but god damn it Bella, you can't be happy with me! Don't you see?"

My tears blurred my vision, as I could feel the wet drops trickle down my neck. I walked over to the bedside table, and took the cup of water on the nightstand, and splashed it onto his face. "Don't fucking preach to me! We can't dwell in the past, we can only survive. But you don't have to be so damn sad doing it!" I shouted before storming out the door.

I walked back into the waiting room. Everyone was now there. Esme, Carlisle, Rosalie, Emmett, Jasper, and Alice. I said my goodbyes, and left.

After I left the hospital, I sat in my car, and cried. I thought about how happy we could be. How happy we should be. Because this isn't the way things were supposed to be. We weren't supposed to have to bury out daughter! And we weren't supposed to get divorced! And we were not supposed to end up hating each other! Because that is far from the truth. I love Edward more than anything, matter of fact, I need Edward, more than I need anything. And Edward loved me more than anything, and needs me more than anything. The way things wound up diverged us from the perfect plan.

* * *

After I walked into my apartment, I slipped into Edward's old tee shirt that I kept. When he moved out, I snuck a tee shirt out of his boxes of clothes. I couldn't loose absolutely all of him. I poured myself a glass of white wine, and sat on the oversized chair in the living room. I looked up at the pictures on the wall, the ones of happier times, with Edward, I, and Scarlett.

**(Listen to "Keep Holding On" by Avril Lavigne)**

I got up, and dumped the wine in the sink. I walked into the bedroom, and put on a pair of jeans, and sneakers, grabbed my keys, and got into the car.

Once I got to the hospital, I ran to Edward's room, not caring how many nurses kept telling me that visiting hours were over.

I burst into the room, causing Edward to snap his head in my direction, a look of excitement, mixed with confusion displayed on his face.

"I'm not loosing you again. This is it. It's now, or it's never. I'm not going to waste my life away feeling sorry for myself when I know my purpose is to be with you. I'm not going to contradict you, or go against fate. I'm going to follow what I want. And I know you want this too. I'm not giving in anymore. I'm going to live my life. I've let people step all over me for years. No more. This is what I want. I want you." I finished, breathless.

Edward starred at me, eyes gawking. "B--Bella."

"Shut up." I said before grabbing his face in my hands, and kissing him.

Edward pulled me on top of him. I heard the nurse clear her throat, but we ignored her. Edward pulled me down harder on top of him, like we haven't seen one another in ten years.

"I love you Bella." He whispered.

I smiled. "I love you too."

"Marry me." He said.

"Okay." I replied.

* * *

Today, two weeks of being in the hospital, Edward was being released. I got the house into condition for him to move in. We decided to buy a house together, being that we would soon once again, wed.

I had to say, that I was truly happy. I loved Edward more than anyone, and I wanted to marry him more than anything.

I was at the kitchen counter, preparing dinner when I felt two strong arms wrap around me. "I love you so much, Bella." He said, trailing kisses down my collarbone.

I smiled, and turned around to face him. "Now, how am I supposed to make dinner when you're distracting me like that."

"Mmm…you're not." He said simply.

"I'm hungry." I giggled.

He sighed, exasperated.

I gave him a quick peck on the lips, before grabbing the knife to cut the peppers. I stopped, and looked down at my third finger on my left hand. I looked at the beautiful three stone ring that sat there.

I looked over to Edward, who was sitting on the sofa, flipping through channels on the TV, and drinking Budweiser. I smiled as I went back to making stir-fry. I finished cutting the vegetables, and put them in the wok, and went over to the sink to wash the chicken.

After washing, and cutting the chicken, I put it into the wok, with the vegetables, and started mixing the two together.

After dinner was finished, I covered the wok, and walked into the bedroom. I went into the closet, and pulled out the small back strapless dress, and black shiny pumps. After I got dressed, I walked back into the kitchen, and pulled out a bottle of red wine from the wine rack in the counter, and popped the cork. I pulled out two wine glasses, and filled them half way. I dished dinner out onto two white plates, and set the food on the table.

"Edward?" I called.

He looked over at me, and smiled as soon as he saw what I was wearing. He got up of the sofa, and Came and sat sown at the table. I sat at the seat across from him.

"It looks amazing, love. As do you." He said, eyeing me up and down as I got the forks.

I handed him a fork, and we ate dinner together for the first time in two years.

* * *

**(Please Listen to "Stop Crying Your Heart Out" by Oasis)**

I woke up, and felt extremely relieved when I opened my eyes, to that perfect face right in front of my own. I traced his jaw line with my index finger. I ran my hand down to his chest, as I snuggled into him, deeper. I honestly couldn't put into words how good it felt to be back in Edward's arms. I would have given anything just to be held by this man. He was my world. I smiled to myself, knowing that this was real. This was what was actually happening. I couldn't get close enough to this incredible man. He tightened his grip on me, and I then knew that he was awake. I didn't say anything, I just stayed in his arms. It should have been like this from the start.

I felt his bare chest hit my bare chest, as I pressed up harder against him. He smiled, without opening his eyes.

I looked over to the candles on the dresser. We didn't do anything last night, but sleep naked together. I felt like a huge weight had been lifted off my shoulders. I guess that things really do get worse before they get better.

I never wanted to get up. I wanted to stay like this all day. In Edward's arms. I felt safe here. Like nothing else around us mattered. Like we were the only one's in the world.

"I love you, Edward." I whispered.

He smiled, and opened his eyes. "I love you more, Bella."

I giggled, and kissed him.

"Can we just stay like this?" I asked him.

"If you want to stay like this all day, we'll stay like this all day." He smiled down at me.

* * *

**AHH! IT'S FINALLY UP, AND IT'S GETTING GOOD! REVEIWS=A VERY HAPPY WRITER+CHAPTER 4!**

**REVEIW!REVEIW!REVEIW!**


	4. Me Without You

**Me Without You**

**- - -**

**SONG FOR THIS CHAPTER: Me Without You - Ashley Tisdale**

**BELLA**

I didn't think that where I was right now was a place that I could ever be again.

As I lye here, on Edward's chest, I remember how this used to feel. Like I could do anything. Like nothing else mattered. When I was with him, it didn't matter what anyone else though of me, or what anyone said about me. I realized that I am still allowed to be happy, even though I've lost the one thing that tied Edward and I together. Just because we lost our daughter, doesn't mean I can never be happy again. I wont mope around, feeling sorry for myself. I want to be with him. Forever.

I looked out the window as I listened to Edward's steady heartbeat. It was now 5:03 PM. Not once today did we get up to do anything.

_Flashback_

"Edward!?" I screamed through the bathroom door.

I stared at the pregnancy test in my hands. I smiled down at the test, and looked up when the door opened.

His eyes caught the stick as he stepped into the bathroom, and closed the door. I handed him the stick, and wrapped my arms around him once he smiled at me. We had been trying to have a baby for the past few months, and now, finally, we were.

Edward wrapped me in his arms, and held me ever so tightly. "I love you. I love you. I love you." He said, repeatedly, kissing all over my face.

_End of flashback_

Would we ever try again? Did he want to try to have children again? Did I?

I have always wanted kids, ever since I was two. But was this a way of god telling me that I wasn't supposed to be mother?

I shifted, and looked up at Edward. I sighed deeply, and rested my head in the crook of his neck. He brought his hand up to my back, and kissed my scalp.

I looked down at the ring on my finger. We were getting married again. But this time, I wasn't going to let him go.

I had always pictured in my mind the perfect Christmas. With Edward, and I, and however many little rugrats we had. So, that pretty much answered my question. I knew that I had to let Scarlett go. I was supposed to be able to be happy again.

* * *

**EDWARD**

"Bella?" I questioned. I had just gotten up to an empty bed, and presumed that Bella was in the shower, but when I knocked on the door, there was no answer.

I walked downstairs, and into the kitchen, and found a piece of bright blue paper stuck to the refrigerator.

_Edward-_

_Went to the store, we were low on cereal._

_Be back soon._

_I love you._

_-Bella_

I pressed the paper to my chest, and took a deep breath.

I had Bella back. The girl I had fell in love with back in sixth grade. The woman that I went through so much together.

I turned around, and looked at my surroundings. I wanted to give Bella so much more than what she deserved. She didn't deserve to live in this apartment. Well, the apartment didn't deserve Bella. Ha.

I started on my plan.

**BELLA**

I walked into the personal needs isle. I walked down the isle with all of the pregnancy tests.

I picked up the tru-tests, and put five into my basket. Even if I didn't need them right now, eventually, I would.

**EDWARD**

"Edward!" I heard a chipper voice call for me.

I turned around, and forced a smile towards Lauren Mallory.

"Hello Lauren."

"Oh my god! It's so weird seeing you here! How are you? We should get together! What are you doing here?"

I took a deep breath. "I'm getting some supplies for Bella." I said simply.

I watched her smile fade very quickly.

"Bella?" She looked disgusted.

"Yes. Bella and I are engaged." I smiled.

"But, you got a divorce after your kid died." She protested.

I swear, if she insults Bella I'll fucking go livid.

"Yes, we got divorced after our baby…died. But we're back together."

"Oh, come on. You could do so much better than that tr----"

"Don't even think of calling Bella that. That name is for you only. Goodbye Lauren." I spat, leaving Lauren with her mouth gawked.

I passed the cosmetics, and personal items, and suddenly stopped dead in my tracks. My eyes went wide when I saw Bella putting pregnancy tests into her basket.

I looked around me, and started walking up behind her.

I went up next to her, and stared at her, wide eyed. "I hear E.P.T is good." I watched as she looked up, and slowly turned her head to meet mine.

"E-Edward!?" She yelped.

I smirked. "What are you doing, love?" I said, cocking my head.

She swallowed hard, and just stared at me.

"I-uh…stocking up?" She said it more like a question.

"Hmm, really?" I asked, peeking into her basket, and spotted the box lableled 'OVKit'

"Can we talk about this at home, Edward?" She said quickly, leaving the isle.

"Bella!" I yelled, running after her.

"Edward, please." She looked around her, her eyes full of tears. "I don't want to do this here." She pushed me away, and walked to the checkout.

* * *

I pulled into the driveway, and shut the car off.

I grabbed the bags, and walked into the house.

I set the bags down on the counter, and walked upstairs.

I walked into the bathroom, where I knew she would be. I found her hunching over the toilet, her hand in between her legs.

I sighed, and put my hand on my forehead. "Bella." I said, running my hand over my face.

"Love, what are you doing?" I asked, shutting the door. A few seconds later, she pulled the thermometer out from her legs, and looked to the small screen. She zipped her pants, and jumped onto me.

She attacked my lips with her own, and pushed me against the wall.

We made it to the bed, before I pushed her off me.

"BELLA!" I shouted. "Bella! Stop it, okay!?"

"Oh, Edward. Just shut up and fuck me." She rasped, trailing kisses down my stomach.

I growled, and flipped her over. "Jesus Christ Bella." There was no denying her now.

_Flashback-Bella_

_***PICTURE BELLA LOOKING LIKE THIS: **_

**www(DOT)you tube(DOT)com(SLASH)watch?v=aRJkxAai80Y**

"Mrs. Cullen, there's someone here to see you." Jean smiled.

"Finish reading chapter 7. I'll be right back." I told my class.

I walked out into the hall, and met eyes with him.

I slowly walked over to him, and crossed my arms over my chest.

He extended his arm out to me, handing me a manila envelope. "What is this?" I asked, taking the envelope.

"I didn't know what else to do, Bella. You don't come to the divorce meeting, you won't sign the papers, I just don't know what else to do." He sighed.

"You didn't answer my question Edward." I said sternly.

"It's an annulment. It'll be like our marriage never happened." He stated.

I could feel my blood pressure rising, and my blood boiling. "Never existed!" I hissed.

"Yes, Bella." He said simply.

"You think that by signing this, that we'll forget about our marriage? Does this paper make it so we never had Scarlett!?" I sneered.

"Oh, Bella don't start that shit." He said, his eyebrows furrowed.

I opened the envelope, and took the papers out. I tore the papers in fours, and threw them at him. I stopped in my tracks from walking back to my class, and ripped the ring off of my finger. I walked back up to him. I shoved the ring to his chest.

"I should never have married you." I seethed before walking back to the classroom.

* * *

_Flashback - The Wedding_

I could hear the wedding bells chiming from outside.

I took a deep breath, and walked out the door.

As I met my father at the arch, and glared down the isle, right into Edward's burning eyes, I thought of how wrong this was. To marry a man just because he was going to get fired.

I wanted this to be over.

Then, the music began.

I slowly walked down the isle, arm in arm with John; my father.

Everyone was looking at me.

But I kept my eyes focused on Edward.

He had his hands at his sides, his jaw clenched, and his nose red.

I started to cry.

I wanted this every day of my life, but I was only saving him.

I couldn't fall for him. It was against everything I believed in.

We stopped at the stairs, and, I walked up to him..

I met Edward's face, and his eyes looked pained, and sorrowful.

He reached his hands out, slowly, and I raised mine to meet his.

He clamped his fingers around my hands.

I cried harder.

"We are gathered here today, to celebrate the joining of Edward Anthony Masen Cullen, and Isabella Marie Swan. Edward, you may start your vows."

This had to be real, in order for Edward to keep his family business.

**EDWARD**

I loved her so much. I loved her because she wasn't like the others. She was beautiful in everyway.

I inhaled sharply, and grasped her hands tighter.

"Bella, I love you with all of my heart. I always have, and always will. You mean the world to me, and I wouldn't be able to live without you. I want you forever with me, to be mine always. I want to grow old with you, and die in your arms. Make a life with you, and give you the big white house with the big porch, and the swing. I want you to be happy forever, and for always. I want to be with you. I love you Bella."

I wanted to throw up.

Not because I was marrying Bella, but because I just meant every single word I just said, and somehow, she knew it.

I held her hands in mine, and felt a cold, drop on my hand.

Her tear.

I looked into her eyes, and just wanted to hold her tight, and never, ever let her go.

**BELLA**

I wanted to die.

For this to end.

For these feelings to go away.

Every word, I knew he meant them, but I didn't want to believe it.

"Miss Swan, I believe it is your turn."

"Edward. Everything we have been through together, has made me person that I am today. I have my happiest days when I'm with you. I want to be able to look at our baby someday, and see the same green eyes, and messy bronze hair. I want to see you next to me every time I wake up. I want to hold your hand, and walk into the world, once again. I want you to be with me forever. I love you Edward."

I looked back to his eyes, and just wanted to melt away in them.

"Do you Edward Masen Cullen, take Isabelle Marie Swan to be your lawful wedded wife, in sickness, and in health, for richer, for poorer, until death do you part?"

"I do."

That's it, I'm dead.

He held my hand, and placed the white gold, diamond band on my finger, and held it tighter, like before.

"Do you, Isabella Marie Swan, take Edward Masen Cullen to be your lawful wedded husband, in sickness, and in health, for richer, for poorer, until death do you part?"

"I do."

I took his hand, and placed the gold ring on his finger.

Oh no.

"I now pronounce you, husband, and wife. You may now kiss the bride."

**EDWARD**

That was it. She was my wife.

I took her face in my palms, and wiped her tears away with my thumbs.

I inched closer, and lightly touched her lips to mine.

She kissed me back, lightly.

I pulled away, still having her face in my hand, and smiled a warm, smile at her.

She smiled back, faintly.

I hadn't noticed the loud clapping, and cheers coming from the benches.

I took her hand in mine, and threaded her fingers through mine.

I walked down the steps, with her hand in mine, and walked through the arch, and took her outside.

She cried into my chest.

**BELLA**

I couldn't let him know how happy I truly was.

I sobbed into his chest; his tux.

He held my waist, and the back of my head,

He shushed lightly into my ear.

I was just waiting for him to say it.

I was so thankful that he hadn't yet.

I looked up at him, and he stroked my cheek with his hand.

He pulled me toward the limo, and we climbed inside.

I sat across from him.

I stared out of the window, while we were being driven to the airport.

I could feel him staring at me, his gaze burning into my cheek.

I slowly turned my head to him, and just stared at him.

His eyes looked irritated, like he had been crying.

I wouldn't be surprised.

I scooted over to the other side of the limo, and sat next to him.

I placed my hand on his thigh.

He covered my hand with his, and traced the ring with his finger.

He swirled it around my finger, and glanced out the window.

"You can take it off now."

"What?""The ring, you don't have to wear it, its over."

"I want to, its, it's a, gorgeous ring Edward."

He met my stare, and smiled.

He took my hand back in his.

"I never doubted you Bells."

"I know Edward."

I squeezed his hand tighter.

_End Of Flashback_

**BELLA**

I stalked over to him, and wrapped my arms around his neck. "I'm sorry." I sobbed.

"It's okay baby. I'm sorry too." He said quietly into my ear.

* * *

**NOTE: I haven't been getting many reviews, which makes me think that people don't like it, and I feel forced to write. So let me know if you like it. Even if you tell me; "cool" it makes me happy. But when you don't review, I feel like I'm just forced to write these chapters. So, please…just review. **

**XOXO**

**Steph**


	5. Rise

Where Are You Now?

- - -

**BELLA**

Two weeks have passed since I practically jumped Edward. We still haven't had sex, and its driving me mad. We both agreed that now was not a good time to try for a baby. He wanted to get married first, and I agreed with him.

The phone rang, and I jumped out of bed to answer it. I didn't want it waking up Edward. I almost tripped over the door step before I made my way to the phone.

"Hello?" I asked, out of breath.

"Bells? It's mom." My breath caught in my throat.

"Hi mom." I said, flatly. I had no respect for my mother. When Dad would be at work all day, Renee would get high, and try to get me and Victoria to do it too. Of course, Tori would agree with mom, and go smoke with her.

I would stay in my room all day, blocking out their high laughter.

"Honey, I know that I'm probably the last person that you want to talk to right now, but this is about your sister." Did I care?

"What is it mom?" I asked, peeved.

"She's sick sweetie. She has cancer." Victoria was dying.

"How long, mom?" I asked.

"Not long. The doctors say a few days at the most." Why wasn't I feeling anything? She was my sister.

"Mom…why are you telling me this? I haven't seen her in ten years." Victoria left with Renee when she was fifteen, and I haven't seen or talked to her since.

"Honey…she has three kids. And you're their godmother. Their guardian." I think my heart just stopped.

"Ex-excuse me?" I asked, not sure if I heard her correctly.

"There's Ella…she's three, Ben, he's two, and then there's Alexis. She's only three months old." I could hear the tears in her voice.

Victoria had three children of which, were my godchildren. When Victoria died…they would become my responsibility.

"What about their father?" I asked, knowing that the kids didn't have the same father.

"Never met any of them." She said.

Of course she didn't.

"Where are you?" I asked.

"Forks hospital." They still lived in that god forsaken town?

"I can be down there in a couple days, but mom…Edward and I…these kids…I…" I didn't even know what to say.

"Honey…I know, I know. I'm so sorry you have to do this. They're adorable kids, though."

"I'm sure they are, but mom…I can't. I can't possibly take those kids. Edward and I work…and…a baby sitter is…"

"Bella. You're their guardian. It's your job to take care of them when Victoria is…gone."

"Mom! I never even knew about them, and now…they're being forced upon me!? You Can't just do this to me, mom!" I yelled.

"ISABELLA MARIE! I do not need this from you right now! My daughter is dying, and your denying her kids a mother!"

I took a deep breath. "I'll be there as soon as I can." And I hung up the phone.

**EDWARD**

"Mom! I never even knew about them, and now…they're being forced upon me!? You Can't just do this to me, mom!" I heard Bella yell.

I got up out of bed, and made my way to the kitchen, where I saw her in her black shorts with her pink tank top, leaning against the wall with the phone in her hand.

She took a deep breath. "I'll be there as soon as I can." And she hung up the phone.

I watched as she buried her face in her hands, and sobbed quietly. I walked over to her, carefully.

"Bella?" I asked quietly, and she turned around sharply.

"I'm sorry. I didn't mean to scare you, but baby what's going on?" I asked, enveloping her in my arms.

"Edward…Victoria has cancer. She's…dying." I didn't understand. Bella hadn't talked to her sister in ten years, and her name never once came up, and now…she was crying about it?

I mean…yea. Victoria was Bella's sister, but she got high all of Bella's life, and never gave a damn about her sister.

I held Bella tighter.

"Edward…she has three kids." Bella said, and I still didn't know where she was going with this.

How could a woman like Victoria be so irresponsible, and bring three children into a life where they would not be loved, or wanted?

Bella pulled away from me.

"Bella…where are you going with this?" I asked, and followed her to the table.

"I'm their guardian, Edward. Once Tori is gone…those kids…are our kids."

I think that just went in one ear, and out the other.

"Our…our kids? As in…our kids?" I asked, completely flabbergasted.

"Yea, Edward! We become their parents! And…there's three of them! And not one of them is old enough to know that their mom is dying!" Bella was pacing the kitchen, and I was about to start soon.

I just couldn't believe what was going on. Money was no problem, and the new house was big enough for three more, but this was the farthest thing from what Bella and I wanted.

We had just discussed having _one _child, and now…we were getting three.

"How long does she have?" I asked.

"I don't know, Edward. Renee said only a few days! And then…those kids…oh my god, Edward! What are we going to do with three kids!?" I honestly couldn't give her an answer, because I was still trying to figure it out myself.

"Jesus Christ." I pinched the bridge of my nose, and sat down at the table.

I looked back at Bella, who was pacing the room, a hand on her head, pushing her hair back.

"Edward…the second that I get there…the minute I see them…I don't know if I'm going to be able to do it." She said without looking at me.

"How old are they?" I asked.

"Uh…a three year old…Ella, I think her name was. Uhm…a boy. He was like…two, his name's Ben. And then there's a three month old baby!" Bella cried.

A three month old baby. Fuck my life. Just fuck it!

"What's the baby's name?" I asked.

"Her name's Alexis, I think." She said, a look on her face that told me that she wasn't completely sure.

"Yea. Her name is Alexis." I could hear the hurt in Bella's voice.

"Ella's old enough. She's old enough to understand. She's gonna know that…I'm not her mom." Bella said, and I sighed.

"What about their father!?" I rushed, and Bella snuffed.

"Are you kidding me, Edward? Victoria can't keep a man if her life depended on it. They all have different fathers…and here's the shocker! Renee, nor Tori know any of them! What does that tell ya!?" She was stressing out.

"Bells. Baby, it'll be okay, alright? It'll all be okay. We'll figure something out." Was I trying to convince her, or myself?

"So your telling me that your willing to be the devoted father and husband that goes to work day in and day out, taking care of puking babies all day, with no time to yourself and your wife? Edward, come on!" Bella walked out onto the patio, and looked out into the backyard.

"Baby…I've got more money than I know what to do with. We can get a sitter." I tried to lighten the mood.

"EDWARD! A sitter!? Those kids are going to loose their mother, and you want them to be around a sitter all day!? How fucking dense are you!?" She yelled at me, and I fisted my hands through my hair.

Bella shook her head, and turned to me.

"Just when we were picking the pieces back up, finally getting over the baby…finally ready to be happy…" She didn't finish her sentence, but I'm pretty sure I knew the ending of it.

"I know, but Bella…they're young…and we have to raise them as our own. We don't have a choice.

"How long does it even take for them to get placed with us?" She asked.

"Well…they'll be put into our care once your sister passes, and then they'll be a hearing and a meeting, signing the paperwork, and then they'll be evaluations of the house, and they'll probably interview us. Make sure we'll take care of them." I told her, and she nodded.

"We have to…we have to get rooms together. What do kids even like?" She asked, and I had no idea myself.

"Toys?" I said, and it came out more like a question.

"Ben and Alexis are still in cribs, I'm assuming, and Ella is probably ready for a bed of her own. So…we need to get a nursery, and two rooms together." I said, and she nodded.

"We have to get to Forks." Bella said.

"They still live there!?" I asked, stunned.

"Edward…this is my mother and my sister that you're talking about." Bella said sarcastically.

"I'm going to go and take a shower." Bella said, and I nodded.

"I love you, sweetheart. Everything will work out. I promise." I said, and kissed her on the lips before she walked inside.

I decided that it would be a good idea to call Charlie.

I dialed the numbers, and waited for him to pick up. Charlie was normal. He was human, like Bella. I thank that man every day for making Bella who she is today.

"Yellow?" I smiled at his greeting.

"Charlie…it's Edward. Edward Cullen."

"Hey boy! I haven't talked to you…in what? Three years? How ya doin'?" He asked, and I could hear him eating something crunchy, and a bag being shuffled with football playing in the background. Same old Charlie.

"I'm good. Better than ever, actually. Bella and I are getting married!" I said, and sat down in the armchair.

"Your kidding!" He said, and I laughed.

"No, I'm serious. Haha. But actually…that's not the reason I'm calling. Have you heard? About Victoria?" Victoria wasn't Charlie's daughter, but he raised her all of her life. That is, until Renee left with her.

"I have. Bella heard?" He asked, and I sighed.

"Yea. Bella knows."

"Well then I'm guessing that you two are flying out?" He asked, and I nodded, remembering he couldn't see me.

"Yes, tomorrow. But Charlie…Victoria had three children, of which the fathers are unknown. She left the kids to Bella."

I head a glass clank, and a chair rock.

"W-what!?" Charlie asked, and it sounded like he had something in his mouth.

"One's three, one's two, and then there's a three month old baby." I told him, and I heard him cough.

"She shouldn't have to go through this! Jesus, she lost her daughter. You both did!" He said, and he sounded angry.

"I know. Believe me." I sighed.

"I can't believe this! Those two stupid…stupid amateurs. How could she have three children!?"

"I don't know Charlie." I just didn't know.

"Edward, son. If you need _anything_ you just phone in, and I'll be on the next flight out there." He said, and I smiled.

"Thank you, Charlie."

"Oh, it's no problem. How's Bella holding up?" He asked.

"Not so good. She's just stressing out. Her nerves are getting the better of her. She's in the shower right now." I told him.

"Keep her occupied. Try to keep her calm. Don't let her hurt herself." He told me.

Bella was bipolar, and the smallest things would sometimes set her off.

* * *

_THURSDAY - THE NEXT DAY_

I woke up, and heard Bella's voice coming from the kitchen. I got up from the sofa, and walked in. She was sitting at the table, with a children's furniture catalog in front of her, three paint cans, and a number that said '_Rug Depot_'

I gave her a small smile, and she returned.

I walked over to the stove, and turned on the kettle. I got out the coffee, and fixed two cups. I pulled out the leftover pancakes, and stuck them in the microwave.

Rubber pancakes and coffee would have to do this morning.

I walked over, and set her things down. She pushed the food aside, and picked up the coffee.

"Bella, you have to eat." I told her sternly, and she held up her hand, telling me to be quiet.

"Yes. I'd like the Cherry wood crib, item number 00895, please." She said, and listed several more items before thanking whoever it was, and hanging up.

"I'm sorry. I'm just…I'm trying." She said, and I smiled.

"I know." I smiled.

I looked at the catalog, and it said "24-hour delivery"

"So I've got the paint, and the rug people are coming in an hour. I've got painters coming at 12, and the furniture should be here tomorrow. I left the key with them, and told them that I'd send them the tip when we got back." She said, out of breath.

"Bella. Come on, love. This isn't good for you."

"Edward. We are getting on a plane in six hours to go and say goodbye to my dying sister, and pick up her kids. That is what's not good for _any _of us."

About an hour later, the carpenters came, and installed the tan carpets in all three rooms. The painters came about a half and hour later, and got the nursery painted purple, Ben's room painted blue, and Ella's room painted pink. The colors would have to do.

Once we were packed, and headed to the airport, I could tell that Bella was starting to ease a bit. We had talked about the situation, and once I had her convinced that the kids were going to love her, she seemed to believe me.

The problem was…did I believe myself?

I made my way to JFK airport, and once we went through security, and baggage claim, we made our way to our gates. We picked up Starbucks, and some magazines on the way. Bella had spotted a Hallmark store, and made me go in with her to buy the kids stuffed animals as a "We're your new parents" gift. Sense my sarcasm there?

We were sitting in the gate wait area, and I was drinking my coffee while Bella was glancing through a magazine.

"These people…who have five kids do it, and they work 24/7, so can we." I told her, and apparently that was the wrong thing to say.

"Those kids are messed up! They grow up thinking that they have seven mommy's." Bella said.

"Sorry." I apologized.

"It's okay. I'm just nervous." Bella said, and I pulled her into me.

"So am I love, so am I."

The ride to Forks was long, and most of it was spent sleeping.

Once we arrived at the airport, Bella was tired, as was I. But we had to do this.

We got our bags from baggage claim, which consisted of Bella's tote bag with the toys, and the blankets and pillows for the way home.

We rented a car to take us to the hospital and the hotel we were staying at. Bella and I had decided that staying at a hotel overnight, and catching a flight in the afternoon would be a better idea, so that the kids would get a good night sleep.

I hadn't had the time to fully process that these kids were going to look up to me, and call me daddy. Alexis would always think of me as her only father, as would the other kids being that they didn't have one all of their lives.

I think that Bella had gotten over the "I'm a mommy" factor, and was now concentrating on giving these kids the best life they could have.

I still couldn't get my mind off of how it felt like Scarlett was being replaced. Our only baby lost her parents, and now…other children were taking them from her. It ripped my heart out at the seams.

Bella fell asleep in the car on the way, and once we got there, I had to wake her up. I braced myself.

"Bella? Baby we're here. You gotta wake up, sweetheart." I rubbed her shoulder, and she slowly woke.

She inhaled deeply, and I wondered if her heart was pounding as fast as mine was.

"Okay." She said, as she unbuckled her seatbelt.

Before I got out of the car, she tugged my hand, and squeezed it for dear life.

I looked to her, and gave her a reassuring look. "It's gonna be okay." I said before leaning over and taking her face into my hands. I kissed her passionately, and it somehow felt pained.

She licked my lips, and I took her tongue into my mouth. I relaxed, and gripped her face tighter. We started getting hot and heavy, our breathing erratic, and I felt the need to have her. I could feel the straining in my pants, and I knew that we could _NOT _do this here.

As hard, and painful as it was, I let go of her lips. She whimpered in loss, and rested her forehead against mine.

"I love you." She whispered.

"I love you too. So much, Bella." I said.

I pulled away, and shut the door. I came around, and opened her door. We got the bag from the trunk, and made our way to the doors, hand in hand.

We braced ourselves as we walked inside. We walked to the desk, and Bella asked for her sister.

"Uhm…we're here to see Victoria Swan?" She asked quietly. It was around 5:30 in the morning, and the hospital seemed deserted even with the doctors, and nurses, and people walking around.

I hated hospitals. I hated the sound of the heart monitors, and the sound of doctor shoes. I hated the sound of three phones ringing at once, and I hated those old, worn out waiting room chairs.

"Her room is 567. I'm sorry about your sister, honey." The old nurse said to Bella, and Bella smiled meekly.

"Thank you." Bella said.

"Your welcome." The nurse smiled back, and answered the next call.

We made our way to the elevators, and I could tell that Bella's resolve was fading away. As she pressed the 5, I pulled her into my arms, and she held onto me for dear life. Her tears were soaking into my sweatshirt, and I tried rubbing circles on her back.

Once we got to the fifth floor, my nerves were through the roof. We walked down the hallway, and the numbers mocked me.

562.…

563...

564...

565...

566...

And 567...

"Oh my god, Edward, I can't do this. I, I can't breathe!"

"Bella, calm down. It's going to be fine, baby it's gonna be fine."

I heard footsteps running, and a very firmiliar voice. I heard Bella gasp. I turned around, and saw a little girl, who looked about three years old, running towards us. Ella.

She had blonde hair, which pulled into small ponytails on top of her head, the rest of her hair down.

She had a Barbie doll in her hand.

I bent down, and Bella just stood, completely frozen. I took her hand, and she stood next to me.

Ella came up to me, and wrapped her small arms around me. I wrapped my free hand around her, and held her tightly to me. Tears welled up in my eyes.

"I love you daddy." She said into my ear, and I kissed her neck. I didn't know what to say.

"I love you too, baby girl." How could this small, innocent, perfect little girl possibly love me? All I knew…is that in the short five seonds that I knew her…she had become my own.

The little boy that was coming towards us had short auburn hair, much like Victoria's, and he was holding a ratty looking bunny in his arms. He stayed behind a woman who I presumed as Renee's leg.

The tiny baby in her arms must have been Alexis. She had a small amount of bronze hair on her head; much like mine. It took to my surprise. She was so small.

I heard Bella whisper 'Hi' to her mother, and she hugged her for the first time in ten years.

The small girl pulled away from me, and walked over to Bella, and touched her leg.

Bella whiped around, and bent down to Ella.

"Hi sweetie. I'm Bella." Bella smiled through her tears, and I watched as Ella reached her Barbie doll out to Bella.

"This is for you, mommy." Bella gasped, and pulled Ella into her arms, and held her tightly, sobbing into Ella's hair. I smiled meekly at her, as Bella did the same to me. I got up, and said hello to Renee, before bending back down in front of Ben.

"Hi Ben. I'm Edward." I tried. I could see his small tears, and he wiped them away hesitantly with his sleeve.

I smiled at him, and reached out to him, and he hesitantly walked to me.

"Tis is Mr. Snuggles" He said quietly.

"Well hello there, Mr. Snuggles, I'm Edward." I smiled at Ben, who just looked at me.

"Are you gonna be my daddy?" He asked, hugging the bunny tighter.

I glanced up to Bella who had her hand on Ella's back, and was gently cooing to the baby in Renee's arms.

I smiled at Bella, and she looked at me with tears in her eyes.

I looked back to Ben. "Do you want me to be your daddy?" I asked, questioning myself.

The little boy nodded hesitantly. It broke my heart.

I choked back my sobs, and took Ben's small arms gently into my hands.

"Then I'll be your daddy, Ben. And I will never leave you." I said, my tears now falling down my eyes.

"I don't want you to weave. I want you to stay." I pulled Ben into my arms, and stood up.

"I won't leave you, buddy. I promise." I kissed his forehead, and he smiled at me. I smiled back the best smile I could.

I gave Ben to Bella, and took Alexis from Renee. She was hesitant to give her to me.

I knew that this little girl would be the hardest for Bella and I.

"Hi Alexis." I whispered against her forehead, before kissing it.

She gurgled, and her small fist hit against my neck.

"I'm gonna be your daddy." I said, smiling down at the small baby in my arms. This was my family.

**BELLA**

I smiled at Edward, and the sight broke my heart. Edward was crying, and that of course, made me cry.

The little girl broke away from him, and walked hesitantly over to me.

I bent down in front of her. She held her Barbie doll out to me. "This is for you, mommy." I couldn't take it.

I gasped, and pulled her tightly to me, and held onto her. She wrapped her tiny arms around my neck, and I couldn't stop the tears from flowing.

I looked to Edward who was talking to the small boy that I knew was Ben.

Ella broke away from me, and I smiled at her.

"Sweetie, you know what happened to your mommy, right?" I asked her.

She nodded. "Mommy is going to go and live with god. And we're going to live with you. Are you my new mommy?" She asked, and my heart broke.

"I guess I am, Ella. Is that okay?" I asked her, and she nodded, with a smile on her face. This broke my heart even more. Knowing that she was so happy to know that she had another mommy. It made me realize that she didn't want Victoria as her mother.

I kissed her on her head, and stood up, my hand still on her back.

I looked at the baby girl in my mother's arms. This was going to be hard.

"Hi Alexis. I'm your mommy." I said, and my breath caught in my throat.

She whimpered, and I smoothed the soft patch of bronze hair she had on top of her head. It reminded me of Edward's hair.

I kissed her forehead, and Edward came over to me, picking up Alexis from my mother's arms. She was hesitant, but she let her go.

Edward handed Ben to me, and I took him into my arms. "Hi Ben. I'm Bella." I said, and he shook his head.

"What's wrong honey?" I asked.

"You're my mommy. Your not Bella." I smiled, and the tears came again.

I nodded my head, and smiled at him. "I'm mommy."

* * *

**I recently just came up with this story line, and I have to admit, I cried alot throughout this chapter, but I love how it turned out. I hope you all do too!**

**Hugs**

**-Steph**

**REVEIW!REVEIW!REVEIW!**


	6. Look After You

Look After You

- - -

**BELLA**

I was extremely hesitant as I put my fingertips on the handle to my sister's room. My hands were shaking, and my throat felt like it was getting tighter.

I had told Edward to take the kids down to the cafeteria, so that I could have some time alone with Victoria.

What was behind this door would change my life forever. But I knew that I had to say goodbye, and promise her that I would love her kids as if they were my own. She needed to know that they would be safe, and okay after she passed.

The problem was, I wasn't sure if she even cared. The kids seemed well cared for, but that didn't mean that she gave a damn about any one of them.

I walked in.

My eyes fluttered, and my breathing stopped when I saw her. She was not the same girl I remembered from ten years ago. I didn't recognize the woman in this bed.

The dark auburn hair that she once had, had been dyed to a deep copper color, and her natural waves were straightened. She was extremely thin.

It's not that Victoria wasn't thin growing up. She was lean, but never this skinny.

"Tori?" I asked, and her head snapped in my direction.

"Bella." She breathed, and smiled at me.

"You look…amazing." She told me, and I slyly smiled.

"I wish I could say the same thing, but Tori you look like shit." _What the fuck is wrong with you, Bella!? She's dying, of course she looks like shit!_

She laughed, and closed her eyes.

"I know." She said, and opened her eyes back up.

"You don't have to stand in the door the whole time, you know?" She said jokingly, and I laughed slightly.

"Your children are beautiful." My eyes started tearing, and my throat stated closing again.

"T-thank you. I think they all look like my dad." She smiled.

I smirked, and sat down in the chair next to her bed.

"You know…I changed their guardian to you after I had Alexis. I found out about the cancer about a month after I got pregnant, and I knew I was dying. I knew how much you loved your baby…and…I want that for my kids." She said, and I could tell that that took the breath out of her.

I nodded. "I'm so sorry." I apologized, and she shook her head.

"No. This is a good thing. I could never…I just wanted to be a good mom, but…I couldn't."

I sighed. "You love them. That's what counts." I said.

"They won't remember me, and I want you to keep it that way. Don't _ever_ tell them about me, please. Bella…you have to promise me that the minute you leave this hospital, that my babies are yours." Tears started falling.

"I-I promise. I swear." I nodded frantically, and took her hand.

"I wasn't cut out for this. You and Edward have money…and you can support them. Send them to school. Give them a normal, and happy life. You have to." She pleaded.

"I will. Don't…don't worry." I choked on my sob.

"Bella I want you to go. I don't want you to get upset about this. You haven't thought about me in ten years, and I don't want you to start now. So…just take care of them. Okay?"

"Okay."

"And…tell Edward…I said hello. And goodbye." She said, and her eyes started drooping.

"I will. I'll get mom. I love you, kay?" I asked.

"I love you too, baby. I'm so sorry about this." She said, and squeezed my hand.

A million thoughts came rushing through my mind. This was my sister! This was my sister that would come into my room late at night, and tell me all of her secrets. This was my sister that would play outside with me on my birthday when mom and dad wouldn't. This was the sister that got hit by a bus because she wanted to get the doll for me that mom couldn't afford. This was the sister that I loved.

I leaned down, and hugged her. I held her for dear life. She was leaving everything. She was leaving the kids that she loved, and would die for. She was leaving the mother that she was raised with. She was leaving the sister that would now raise her children.

Once I left, I tried to block out of my head what had just happened. Because now…_I_ had given birth to three children with Edward.

* * *

I walked into the cafeteria, and found Edward, and the kids sitting at a table. Alexis in a small wooden highchair, smacking her fists against the table.

I smiled, and walked over to them. Ben and Ella both had M&M cookies, and were eating them quickly.

Edward was talking to Ella, and she was smiling at him while Ben played with his little sister.

"Hello beautiful." Edward said, and patted his leg, offering me a seat.

"We got cookies, mommy." A smile slowly appeared on my face, and I knew that I could not let these kids down.

"What is it, sweetie?" I asked Ella.

"Daddy got us cookies with rainbows in them!" Ella had never had a M&M cookie before?

"That's wonderful honey. Have you ever had one before?" She shook her head, no.

"We weren't allowed to have cookies. Reme said that they were bad for us." I smiled at the way she said my mother's name.

"Well…from now on…you can have cookies whenever you want." I heard Ella laugh, and Edward and I laughed along with her.

* * *

Once we were settled in the hotel, and Ella and Ben had had their bath, and Edward had finished giving Alexis her's, we had called room service to get a crib.

Once it came, and we were all settled, and Alexis and Ben were asleep, Ella had asked me to braid her hair.

"Mommy? Can you braid my hair?" She asked, holding two hair ties and a brush out to me.

"Sure baby." I said, and took the things from her small hands, and followed her to the bed.

We both sat down, and I began brushing Ella's hair.

"Tori never let us call her mommy." Ella said, and it broke my heart.

"How come?" I asked, and she sighed lightly.

"She said that she didn't like it and it made her old." She said, and shrugged.

"Did Tori ever braid your hair, Ella?" She shook her head again.

"No. Reme didn't either." She said, and I ran the brush gently through her hair.

I didn't know what to say after that, so I just continued doing Ella's hair.

* * *

"Bella, come to bed." Edward called to me from the bed. I was leaning against the wall, looking at Alexis. I couldn't help but feel like this was _my _daughter.

"I don't want to, Edward." I told him, and then felt two strong arms wrap around me.

"Baby, come on…you need to sleep." He told me, and I shook my head.

"Doesn't any of this not seem right to you!? Jesus Edward…it just feels like her." I said, and tears came over me, forcing me to go crashing down into Edward's chest.

"Oh, god baby, I know. I know Bella." He whispered in my ear, and I could hear the tears in his voice.

"But Bella…we're all that they have now, and we have to take that responsibility." He said more clearly.

"I-I know." I choked out, and continued to try and get Edward closer to me, my nails digging into any part of his skin that I could touch.

* * *

"You like your room, Ella?" I asked, as I led the little girl closer into the room.

"I never had one of these." She said quietly.

"You've never had your own room?" I asked.

"No. I've never had a bed." She said, walking over to the princess bed, and touching the headboard.

I felt a wave of tears come into my throat, and I tried to swallow them, only making me choke.

Ella lifted the covers, and got in.

"You want me to tuck you in, sweetie?" I asked, and she looked at me, confused.

"What does that mean?" I swallowed harder.

I smiled meekly, and took a pair of pajamas out of the dresser drawer.

"It's late, baby. Let's get you into your jammies." I said, and she nodded her head.

"Okay!" She said happily.

I offered a small smile, not knowing what to do next. Ella didn't even have a bed of her own when she lived with Victoria and Renee. That nauseated me.

I kissed Ella on top of her head, and headed out into the living room. I dimmed the lights, and lied down on the over-sized chair, bringing my knees to my chest, bring the throw closer to my chin.

I glanced out the window at the snow falling peacefully.

I heard Alexis crying from the other room, and I shut my eyes tightly. I didn't know how in the world I was going to be able to even look at her again without feeling like I had done something wrong.

Soon enough, I heard Edward's soft cooing noises, shushing her, telling her it was okay.

My eyes flickered to the pictures on the wall, and I smiled at them.

"Edward?" I called out.

He came into the room a few minutes later, Alexis in his arms as she sucked on the nipple of her bottle.

I smiled at them, and patted the spot next to me.

Edward smirked at me, and sat down next to me, gently placing Alexis in my arms, wrapping his own around me.

I smoothed Alexis's hair back as she downed her bottle slowly.

"What time is it?" I asked Edward, leaning into his chest.

"A little after eleven." He said, kissing my forehead.

"I love you. I've only ever loved you." I whispered, and I felt his arms tighten around me.

"Bella…you have no idea how much I love you. I've never wanted anyone as much as I want you, and I was so…so stupid to have let you go in the first place. I'm just so damn proud to be here with you." He said, stroking Alexis's cheek with his thumb.

"I have something I need to tell you." I said softly, and took a deep breath.

"What is it, Bella?" He asked against my scalp.

"Edward…after you left…me and Jacob…well…we--" I started.

"Bella. It's okay. You don't have to tell me anything because its none of my business. I left you alone…and I don't need to know because that's your own business. I wont hurt you again Bella." He said, and I shook my head.

"No, Edward…that's not it. I mean…it kind of is, but…that's not what I'm trying to--"

"BELLA! Just say it." Edward said, and I took a deep breath.

"Before you…before we met…Jacob and I slept together." I said slowly.

"Yea, I kind of figured that out a couple of minutes ago. And…I really don't care because it has nothing to do with us." He offered a small smile, and I wish I could return it, and this could just be simple.

"Just…listen!" I yelled, and looked down at the precious baby in my arms.

"Jake and I…we had a baby together." Tears came to my eyes at the memory. I had gone so long without thinking about it.

Edward cocked his head to the side. "I don't understand…"

"At the time…Renee still lived at home. I was only fifteen…and I couldn't." I said, and took another breath.

"Renee convinced me to give the baby up for adoption…and I really…_really _didn't want to. But I didn't have much of a choice. So, we found a couple who would take care of him…" I shut my eyes tightly…and braced myself for the rest of this story.

"Bella…love, just tell me." He said, rubbing soft circles on my arm.

"About three months after he was with them…there was an accident." I said softly, wiping away the tears.

"What kind of accident, Bella?" Edward urged.

"Jaime and Daniel fought constantly. So, Jaime thought that a baby would mend their relationship…but it only made it worse."

"Jaime was in the car with Aiden…and her and Daniel had just fought." I said.

"So…she was distraught…and decided that she didn't…couldn't live her life anymore. People tried to convince me that she had forgotten about my…her baby, and that she never would have done it if she knew." I said, and had to take a minute to let the tears to calm down.

"Baby…you don't have to tell me if you don't want to." Edward said calmly, kissing my shoulder.

I shook my head, and continued. "Jaime pulled her car onto the train-tracks…and she…she waited for the train to…to hit her." I choked out, looking down at Alexis…licking my lips.

"I--I don't…Bella, I…" Edward fumbled.

"By the time she realized that Aiden was in the car…it was too late. And when I was so persistent to wait to have a baby…this was the reason why. And then…I lost her too."

* * *

**EDWARD**

"Let's get you to bed." I said to Bella, and took the glass of wine from her hands, and picked her up into my arms.

I knew that if I let her continue down this road…that it wasn't going to end well. Bella wasn't a drunk…but she was bipolar…and like I said, the littlest things seemed to set her off. I couldn't let her continue this.

After I made sure that she was secure in our bed…I went back into the kitchen, and poured out every bottle of wine or liquor that we had in the house.

_Flashback_

"Bella…you have to stop. You've had enough." I said harshly, and ripped the wine glass from her hands.

"Fuck. You." She lazily pointed a finger at me, and shoved me with her hand.

"Don't pretend to care NOW." She said, her eyes drooping."I'm not pretending, Bella. You need help. Is this what you want your daughter to remember of you?" I asked.

"Oh screw you Edward. You…Don't care what the fuck…I…do." She swayed from side to side, before falling to the floor, laughing.

I sighed, and bent down to pick her up, only to be slapped in the face.

"Don't. Touch me!" She stuttered, trying to get back up.

"I swear to god, Bella. If you don't get your sorry ass clean…I will take her, and I'll leave." I seethed, and Bella seemed to get even more angry.

"THE HELL YOU WILL! You're not taking my baby anywhere!" She yelled at me, her breath smelling of nothing but alcohol.

_End Of Flashback_

I brushed back Bella's hair with my fingers, as tears started forming in my eyes. I loved this woman with my entire being…and to know how much she had been through just killed me. Watching her sleep was something I never though could be so intriguing.

I kissed her forehead. "I love you, Bella." I whispered against her skin, and wrapped her in my arms, her head snuggling into the crook of my neck.

* * *

**ELLA**

I woke up and remembered that now I had a _new_ mommy. I was so happy that I got to live with Mommy Bella and Daddy Edward. They were so nice, and Mommy got me a princess bed!

I swung my small legs up of the bed, and ran out into the hallway, and smiled at the smell of pancakes.

I loved pancakes, and I bet that Mommy's would be a whole lot better than Reme's was.

I went down the stairs, two feet at a time on each step, holding onto the railing with both hands, and was so happy when I got to the bottom.

I ran into the kitchen, and saw that Mommy and Daddy were standing next to each other, so I giggled, and they both turned around and mommy smiled at me.

"Hey, baby! Do you like chocolate chips or peanut butter chips in your pancakes?" Mommy asked me, and my eyes lit up.

"You can put peanut butter chips inside da pancakes?" That was so cool!"Yea, you can Ella. You want that?" She asked me, and I nodded a lot, brushing my hair out of my face.

Once mommy gave me pancakes, she said that she was going to get Ben up to tell him that breakfast was ready and asked daddy to make oatmeal.

"Daddy?" I asked, putting a piece of pancake in my mouth.

"Yea pumpkin?" He asked, getting something out of the cabinet.

"I like you." I said.

Daddy sounded like a pig because he made a noise that sounded like one, and I looked at him curiously.

"What was that!?" I yelled.

Daddy turned around. "What do you mean, Ella? I snorted. I do that sometimes."

I giggled, and covered my mouth. Daddy came closer to me, and picked me up, tickling me. I hated when people tickled me.

"DADDY! STOPPP! I'S CANT BWEATH!" I couldn't help the giggles as daddy flipped me up onto his shoulders.

"What is all the yelling about?" Mommy came downstairs with Ben and smiled at me.

"Daddy! Puts me dowwnnn! I's hungwie!" I said, and tried to get down but it looked so high up from here!

"Sorry pumpkin. There you go." He said, and put me back in my chair.

**BELLA**

After breakfast, Edward took Ella and Ben to the park, and left me with Alexis, and a grocery list.

I really didn't want to go out. I hadn't been feeling so great, and I just wanted to sleep.

I looked at the things on the list.

_-Milk_

_-Eggs_

_-Chips_

_-Ice cream_

_-Weaties_

_-Rice_

_-Beer_

Of course. He wouldn't forget the beer. I sighed, and went up to the nursery to get Alexis changed.

I walked in, and carefully picked her up out of her crib, balancing her over my shoulder as I walked to the changing table.

I laid her down, and reached for the diapers, wipes, and baby powder, and changed her. I pulled out a Sesame street onesie.

Once we got to the grocery store, it was a pretty easy trip except for the smiles that I got from people thinking that Alexis was mine.

I got the things that Edward wrote down, and got the hell out of there. What was wrong with me?

I decided to stop off at Target and get some things for the kids. I picked up a few DVDs and toys and baby things. I got some shirts for myself, a pair of boots, and earrings.

Alexis was good in the cart, just looking around. I smiled at her several times, just out of non resistance.

* * *

I walked in, and put Alexis in her playpen, and then into the kitchen to go find Edward to get him to help me with the bags. I found him leaning against the fridge, a drink in his hand.

My blood boiled.

"What the fuck are you doing!?" I screeched, and pulled the drink out of his hand.

"What the fuck Bella?" He snarled, and backed me up into the wall, the glass falling to the floor.

"Get off of me." I seethed, and pushed him away.

"How much have you had?" I asked, crossing my arms over my chest.

"None…you ripped the fucking thing out my hand!" He yelled.

"Clean this up." I said, and headed outside for the bags.

Once everything was brought in, I told Edward to make dinner.

About a half hour later, "dinner" was ready. Of course, he was too lazy to make anything so he just heated the leftovers.

"What's gotten into you?" I asked, and tried to keep a low voice for the kids' sake.

"Nothing, Bella. Nothing." He said, shaking his head.

I knew it wasn't nothing, but I wasn't going to make a scene at the dinner table.

* * *

"Edward…you're going to talk to me!" I yelled, chasing after him as he walked into the bathroom.

I followed behind him, and watched as he clenched his hands into fists, and slammed them on the counter, then putting them to his sides.

I harshly turned him towards me, and pulled his neck to my level.

"You want to hit me Edward?" I asked, and his eyes darkened.

"Do it then! What are you waiting for!?" I seethed, and his hands harshly grabbed my face.

"How. Fucking _stupid _can you be!? You think I'm going to hit you!?" His nostrils flared, and it actually scared me.

I pried his hands away from my face, and he turned around.

"So just fucking tell me then! What the hell is going on, Edward!?" I shouted.

He balled his hands up into fists, and slammed them down on the counter.

"I cant fucking do this!" He shouted, and I didn't take a step toward him.

"Why all of a sudden?" I asked slowly.

"God damn it, Bella. It's not all of a sudden. How the fuck can we possibly do this? We want kids of our _own_! But we're stuck with your fucked up sister's." I lifted my head up straight, and slapped him.

"You can go to hell." I turned to walk away, but turned back around.

"How can you say that!? It's not their fault!" I yelled at him, and pushed him into the wall.

"I know that! But fuck! My job can't help all five of us, and the kids we eventually have! I can't make that much damn income, Bella!" The vein in his head started to bulge, and I knew that his blood pressure was rising.

"Edward, baby…I know this is stressful---"

"STRESSFUL!? Bella! Think about it! All the school funds, college funds, car funds! Think bout all of that! How many babies do you want Bella, hm?" He asked, and I shook my head.

"I don't know." I whispered.

He laughed in a non-amused way. "Well don't think about having any more than one. Because _I can' t afford it." _He snickered.

* * *

**I am beginning to love this story more, and more. But you guys don't reveiw, so I don't know if I'll continue. So if you like it, and you want more....REVEIW!!!!!**


	7. I Dare You to Move

I Dare You To Move

- - -

**BELLA**

"You can't afford it? Edward, you work as head of your family's company!" I said, my eyebrows furrowed together.

"Bella. College tuition can cost up to one hundred thousand dollars, maybe two. Cars cost sixty thousand dollars. Plus the gas. School funds are going to cost thirty to forty thousand dollars every two years. I can't pull all of that off, plus the mortgage, the car insurance, doctor bills, and money to keep food on the table. I just can't."

My heart clenched.

"Edward, baby…I'm sorry, I didn't know that you…" I started, but just cupped his face in my hands, and leaned my forehead against his.

"No, I'm sorry I took it out on you. You don't deserve this. I'm sorry baby girl." He said, and kissed my lips gently.

I leaned in, and wrapped my arms around his neck, and he spun around, pushing me into the wall.

My breath hitched as he cupped my ass, lifting me up. I wrapped my legs around him, and moaned as his lips attacked my neck; sucking, licking, and biting.

"Mmm, Edwarrrrrrd." I moaned.

I looked in the mirror at our reflection, and pushed his boxers down with my feet, my eye lids closing.

He stepped out of his boxers, and shoved the shower door open, my bra being discarded in the process.

We stepped inside, and pulled my panties down quickly.

The shower was turned on, and the water trickled down our bodies. I stood against the wall, taking Edward with me, raking my nails up and down his clammy back.

He grabbed the sponge and the body wash, told me to turn around.

He trailed the sponge across my back, my shoulders, down to my ass.

He leaned against me when he got there, and breathed heavily in my ear.

"Edward." I whispered.

"This feel good, baby?" He asked, making smooth circles on my ass, partly on the back side of my thighs.

"Mhmmm." I dragged out.

I turned around, and pulled him to me, the sponge being forgotten about. "I need you. Now." I said, eyes half lidded.

He didn't give it a second thought as he entered me. I didn't yell out, I just closed me eyes, and bit my lip. This wasn't erotic, fucking. This was depression sex. This was therapy.

My body started rocking back and forth with the rhythm of Edward's body movements.

I shut my eyes tightly, and gripped his shoulders. I pulled him closer to me, and my heart leapt at the sound of our skin slapping against each other. The warmth of his body shot thru me, and all I wanted was more.

"Faster Edward." I whispered, and couldn't contain the moans that flowed through my mouth.

"I love you Bella. Come for me." He said, and I came in that second. I felt his thick, hot liquid pour out into me, and in that second…I didn't feel the world crashing down on my shoulders.

I just felt _us._

* * *

**Three weeks later**

"Fuuuuuuuck." I muttered, and stumbled into the bathroom, lifting the toilet seat, and puking my brains out.

"Bella, I think you should see a doctor." Rose said from the bathroom door.

"No. I'm fine. It's just fucking…food poisoning or something." I said, not sure who I was trying to convince.

I heard her sigh, and step in, rubbing my back.

"Sweetie, your late. And your tired all the time, you have morning sickness, you fainted the other day. Bella, I think your pregnant." She said, and I pulled down the flush handle, and got to my feet.

"I am _not _pregnant." I seethed, and washed my hands, and got my toothbrush.

"Bella. Face it. You have to stop this! Have you had your period?" She asked in a ticked off tone.

"No." I said.

"Exactly. Just take a test, Bells. If its negative, Edward never has to know about this. If its positive…"

"If its positive, we're screwed!" I yelled.

"We're going to Walgreens. Get dressed." She said, and walked out of the room.

I sighed, and walked out into the closet.

**EDWARD**

"Helene, I need those papers by today." I said as I hung my coat up on the rack.

"Of course Mr. Cullen." She said, and walked out of the room.

I sat down at my desk, and sighed and put my head in my hands.

"Mr. Cullen…you have a call on line one." Linda told me, and I picked up the phone.

"Thank you." I said, and put the phone to my ear.

"Hello?" I said casually, glancing at the picture frame that had found its proper place, back on my desk.

"Edward. It's mom." Why would my mom be calling?

"Hey mom. Is everything okay?" I asked, getting up and motioning for Helene to leave the papers on the side table, thanking her with my hands.

"Edward…I think you should go home. Bella may need you." She said, and my eyebrows furrowed.

"Mom, you mind telling me what's going on?" I said, pissed.

"What's going on is you need to get home to Bella…you're wife." The words 'wife' and 'Bella' used in the same sentence put a smile on my face.

"Alright. I'm leaving. I'm leaving." I said.

**BELLA**

I ripped open the box, and took the stick out, and stared at it.

Maybe I should just ditch this, and jump out the window, run as far away as I can get, and forget it.

I tried to be reasonable, and decided that Rose would most likely hunt me down anyway.

I peed on the stick, and put the cap back on, just like the directions said.

"Bella? You okay in there?" Rose asked from the other side of the door.

"Yea. I'm fine." What a lie that was. I wasn't fine! I was possibly pregnant with a baby that wasn't prepared for.

I opened the door. "We have to wait three minutes."

"Edward's on his way home." She said.

My eyes widened, and my nostrils flared. How the fuck could she call him!? BITCH.

"WHAT!? YOU CALLED EDWARD! WHY WOULD YOU DO THAT!?" I yelled, my arms flailing in the air.

"Bella, he needs to know if he's having a baby. And I think that if you two were together when you found out…""No. Rose, I cant believe you called him!" I started getting antsy.

"I didn't call him…technically. Esme did." My eyes widened.

"ESME CALLED HIM!?" Fuck my life.

"Just relax. It'll be fine. Besides…another little Edward running around…that's a pretty cute picture." She said, with a sly smile.

It did sound good. A little boy with Edwards hair and eyes, running around the house, playing with Alexis. NO! We couldn't have a baby…not now.

"Bella!?" I heard Edward yell.

"SHIT! Rose…tell him I'm out!" I whispered.

"No! Your going to tell him. UP HERE!" She yelled and I wanted to punch her in the face.

"What the fuck!" I yelled, and grabbed the test, and something caught my eye. I slowly lifted up the test to my eye level, and almost fainted at the word _Pregnant._

"No, no no no no no! Damn it!" I sunk down to the floor, and tore at my shirt that was too tight for comfort anyway.

I heard the door open, and Edward walk in.

"Bella?" He asked, walking closer to the bathroom.

"Rose, what--" He started, but she cut him off. I was oblivious. I just stared at the wall in front of me, trying not to think about it.

"Bells? Baby…what's wrong?" He asked as he pulled on his trousers, and squatted down in front of me.

"Bella, look at me." At this point, I think Rose had left, being that the door shut.

I shook my head, and closed my eyes as the tears fell down the second they shut. I felt Edward's hand on my chin, forcing my face in his direction. I slowly opened my eyes, and looked at him.

"Edward…" I trailed off, but decided that I just couldn't tell him.

I squeezed the plastic test in my hand, and handed it to him.

Our world was mentally crumbling, Dust falling, walls collapsing, everything. But in the real world, we weren't that fortunate, and we actually had to face reality. No matter how bad it got.

He took it, and didn't say a word.

"Fuck." He whispered, and stood up.

I stayed on the floor, and in the corner of my eye, I would see him, his hand on the back of his head, walking in a circle.

"Bella, come on…get up." He said, and extended his hand. I took it, and stood up. He picked me up, and sat me on the counter. With his hands on my knees, he looked at me dead in the eyes, and sighed.

"Bella…we can't have this baby." He said, and I looked up at him.

"What do you mean we can't have the baby?" I asked, my heart skipping a beat.

"Obviously…abortion is out of the question. But…we cant keep it." He said, and I became livid.

"What the fuck are you saying!?" I shouted.

"I'm saying that maybe adoption might be best." What the fuck!"Are you high!? You think I'm going to give this baby up for adoption!?" I seethed.

"Bella, we cant afford a baby right now. We just cant." He said. extremely calm.

"This baby is your blood, and you want to give it away!?" I was literally going to kill him.

"Think about it. Another family can su---" I slapped him. Across the face, with such force that I actually hurt myself in the process. "You're a pig." I said between gritted teeth, and pushed him away, and got off the counter.

"Go fuck yourself, Edward." I snarled, and packed some things into a suitcase.

"What are you doing?" He asked from behind me.

"I'm leaving. If you don't want our baby, you don't want me. Take your ring, and shove it." I yelled as I threw the diamond at him.

"And where do you think you're gonna go? Hmm? Your not in Forks sweetheart." He said like the jackass he is.

"You haven't changed, have you?" I replied.

"Bella, your not leaving." Her said, and stepped closer to me.

"You gonna stop me? I'd like to see try." I snapped, and walked down the hall to the kids rooms, and packed some things for them.

I packed everything into the car, including the three little lives that didn't deserve this kind of stress.

"I'm going to your parents house. You want to fix things…call me." I said, and started the car.

**EDWARD**

I grabbed the door handle, and opened the door, and ripped Bella out.

"You are not leaving. You think this is how to solve things!?" I yelled.

"Mommy!" I heard Ben yell from the car.

"Get your hands off me!" She hit my arm, but I slammed her against the car.

I just looked into her eyes, which were filled with fury, and anger. I knew that she wasn't strong enough to fight me off. But if looks could kill, I'd be dead right now. Ten times over.

I held both her hands by her sides, and just stared at her.

"Kids…go inside." I said, not breaking my glance off Bella. She didn't argue.

The car door opened, and Ben and Ella got out, leaving the baby in the car.

"You are not. Taking my kids away from me." I seethed.

"I don't want to take them from you, Edward. So how could you even think of giving _our _baby away?" She asked, and I could see the tears in her eyes.

"And don't you dare say that we cant afford it. This is our child! We made it…together. On purpose or not." She broke away from my hold, shut off the car, grabbed the bags, and headed back into the house.

She was right. How fucking stupid could I be? Adoption!? What the fuck, Edward!?

* * *

I looked at Bella from the mirror in the bathroom as she sat on the edge of the bed, her tiny black cloth robe over her white mesh lingerie set.

I flushed my mouth out with mouthwash, and rinsed out the sink after. I set down the towel, and bottle, and shut the light.

"Freckles…we need to talk." I said calmly, and walked over to her side of the bed.

"Really? Because I thought that everything was so perfect, Edward. I don't want to talk. I don't want to talk to _you. _Alice is coming over. I think you should go out with Jasper. I think we need some time alone with other people for a few hours, don't you?" She said, and I could hear the hurt in her voice.

"What do you and Alice plan on doing?" I asked, and I knew she would get mad for me being "nosey".

"We're not going to go and get drunk, and have sex with other men if that's what your worried about. We're going to the mall. You know, sometimes I DO need to go shopping for things." She said. "Alright. Well, take my card. Have fun." I said shortly, and headed towards the door.

"I love you, Bells." I said.

"Yea. Love you too." She said as she stood up, crossed her robe together, and crossed her arms across her chest.

I gave a sly smile, and walked out the door.

**BELLA**

I slipped on my black leggings with the button, pockets, and zipper with a white lace camisole, and a pink quarter sleeve cardigan with my Steve Madden slouchy leather above the knee boots.

I walked into the bathroom, and put on my gold eye shadow, and bronzer with mascara and eyeliner, and curled a few pieces of hair, shaking out the rest.

I shut the light, and walked downstairs. I walked into the playroom, where Ella, Ben, and Alexis were playing quietly.

"Mommy's going to go shopping for a little while with Auntie Alice. Are you guys going to be okay with Nana?" I asked, smiling at a grinning Alexis. She was holding onto the straps of her bouncer, bouncing wildly.

"YEA!" Ella yelled.

I laughed, and walked over closer. "Your gonna bug Nana for cookies, aren't you?" I asked, cocking an eyebrow.

"No we are going to be good." Ella said, a huge grin on her face.

"Okay. But I give you permission to bug her for cookies." I winked at them, and went to kiss Alexis goodbye.

* * *

"So…what's going on with Edward?" Alice asked, and I took a deep breath.

"I really wanted this to be a un-Edward trip." I said.

"Oh come on. Just tell me." She said, impatiently.

"I'm pregnant." I said, and Alice gasped, and hugged me in the middle of the mall.

"That's amazing! Oh my gosh! Edward must be so happy." She exclaimed.

"He said that we should give it up for adoption." Alice froze, and her eyes went wide."We're leaving. Now."

* * *

"Okay, what are you on!?" Alice screamed at Edward as she slammed her purse down onto the side table.

Edward turned around, furrowing his eyebrows at his pixie sister.

"You actually thought that Bella would give her baby up for adoption!?" She yelled, and I just crossed my arms over my chest.

"That isn't your business, Alice." Edward said curtly, and with that comment, I knew that Alice would blow up even more.

"That's my nephew or niece in there! Of course its my business. You already lost one baby…now you wanna lose another!?" With _that _comment, Edward would be the one screaming.

"Don't you talk about her like you knew her! You didn't even fucking know I had a kid!" He yelled, and jabbed his finger at her.

"Because YOU decided to cut me out of your life!" She yelled back, and I decided to go sit down before I was the one screaming.

"You were an alcoholic, Alice!" If Jasper were here, he'd have cut Edward's head off for saying that.

"You fucking coward! You did coke!" She seethed at him.

"That was in ninth grade! That doesn't even apply now!"

"GUYS!" I yelled, and stood up.

"Just shut the fuck up! Jesus Christ I'm getting a headache from you two." I said, and walked into the bathroom to get some Excedrin.

A few seconds later, Edward walked in, and shut the door behind him.

"What are you doing? Let me out." I said, trying to get him to move.

"You told Alice?" He asked.

"No shit. Of course I told Alice. She's my best friend. And your sister." I said.

He laughed sarcastically. "You gonna tell mom too?" He asked.

"Maybe." I said, getting in his face.

"You won't win this, Freckles." He said, and my eyebrows rose.

"Freckles? You haven't called me that since high school." I said, a smile approaching.

"I called you that the other day." He said.

"Oh." I said.

"Bella, don't think that I don't want this baby. I do, I swear to god, I do." No matter how mad I may have been at him, I knew that he was telling me the truth.

"I do too." I whispered, and peeked up at him.

"I meant to give this back to you. If you'll take it back." He pulled out the princess cut ring with baguettes, and placed it on my finger.

I closed me eyes, and nodded. "Of course I'll take it back." I said.

"Come here." Edward said, and pulled me into his strong arms. I started crying then. I gripped his shoulders, and tried to breathe slowly. He put his hand on the back of my head, and whispered soothing things in my ear.

"I'm so sorry I did this to you." He said. I pulled away slowly.

"That's all you ever say. Whenever you hurt me, all you can say is sorry. I don't want to hear the same thing over, and over, when all you ever do…is hurt me again." I said, my voice raising.

He was silent.

"This is what it is, Edward? We're supposed to be getting married, and you cant even talk to me." I said.

I wanted more from him.

"Let's talk. Lets talk right now." He said softly.

* * *

**EDWARD**

I brushed Bella's strands of hair out of her face, and ran my thumb over her smooth cheeks.

I could never think of hurting this woman, yet somehow, I managed.

I heard Alexis' cries from down the hall, and I sighed, and tried to pry my hands out from around Bella. Once I did, she turned around, and huddled into a ball. I pulled the blankets back over her, and walked out into the hall, shutting the door behind me.

I walked into the nursery, and walked over to the crib where the tiny baby inside was squirming around, trying desperately to get attention.

I gently picked her up, and kissed her forehead.

Her lamb like cries subsided, and she grabbed a handful of my shirt, and held it tight.

I sat down in the rocking chair, and brushed her hair back.

"I know things might be a little crazy right now, but nothing is your fault. When I first heard that you were coming, I was scared. I didn't think I could be a dad again." I told the little girl in my arms who was looking up at me, her eyes wide and curious.

"You're such a pretty girl, you know that?" I smiled, and when my eyes curved, the tears that had layered slid down my face.

"And if any boy hurts you, I'll have the shotgun ready. When me and mommy were dating in high school, Grandpa Charlie would always have his close by. But I was never afraid, because I knew that at that time I could never hurt her." I said.

"I know we haven't been together that long, but I already love you."

"Edward?" I heard a beautiful voice call.

I looked up at Bella, who stood in the doorway, one of my white dress shirts barely reaching her upper thigh.

"It's 2 in the morning, what are you doing?" She asked, brushing her hair back with her hand." I smiled at her.

"Go back to bed, Freckles. I'll be there in a minute baby." I whispered.

"I cant go back to an empty bed." She said.

I kissed Alexis' forehead. "I love you baby girl." I whispered, and set her down in her crib, tucking her under the soft blankets.

I walked over to Bella, shut the light, and listened to the giggles of my fiancée as we made our way back to our bedroom.

* * *

I propped myself up on one elbow, and stared at Bella as she drew small circles on her stomach.

"I hope it's a boy." She said softly.

I laughed, and kissed her neck. "Me too." I said.

"I'm scared, Edward. My head jerked up."Why baby?" I asked softly, taking her hand in my own.

"What if this baby…what if we lose this one too?" She asked, my heart breaking.

"Bella….don't talk like that." I tried not to raise my voice.

"Edward…I'm serious." She said.

"I wont let it happen, Bella. I wont lose another child. We will not lose another child. I _swear_."

Bella's cheeks were wet with tears, as she continued to trace her stomach.

"Okay." She whispered.

* * *

REVEIW!


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